Event: Itadaki Loli Cupcakes Outing~!
Date: Saturday, 29th November 2008
Venue: Sweetchat @ Times Square (originally meant to be bisou @ Asian Heritage Row)
Theme: Pink, white, desserts & sweets
Co-ordinate theme: Sweets no ohime-sama!



The year was 2003 (or thereabouts). Back then, the Gothic and Lolita Bibles were still freely available on the Internet in the form of downloadable torrents and I had my first, fascinating look at GLB 1.

Of course, like most ko-lolis (in Frack speak, a ko-loli is someone who has just started to develop an interest in lolita fashion), I decided, heck, I can pull something like that together! I was into Gothic Lolita so obviously black+some lace+some crappy make-up makes me oh so Gosurori. What a disaster! Well, you live and you learn. Especially important life lessons like a pannier is not a skirt and will never be one. Sometimes I wish someone would have pulled me aside and said, "DUDE NO."

And that brings me to the main point:

Four Things I Wish I Had Known As A ko-Loli

1. How to take constructive criticism
If someone had come up to me and said "You call this loli?" I might have reacted rather violently and beat that person to a pulp with my parasol. However, it might also have prompted me to take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror before stepping out of the house in a pannier and half-assed veil. Being on the receiving end of criticism is hardly ever easy or pleasant but if you are going to post pictures of yourself on the Internet showing off your very first lolita outfit, criticism is going to come your way. Getting angry and accusing everyone of being elitist isn't going to help. The trick is to first, receive it graciously and second, filter through it with an objective mind.

Any comments that are blatantly malicious, mean or refer to you as "lala/seaweed/whatever offensive word" you can most probably ignore. Also, while comments screaming "kawaii" are always nice, they may not be the best indicator. Instead, focus on the comments that actually mention what they think isn't quite right with the outfit. If someone says your skirt is "not loli", it may be worth your time to think about why that may be so. Is it the shape, the length, the material? But remember, everyone has their own opinion and everyone makes mistakes so don't take anything too personally and don't blindly follow everyone's advice. Pick and choose what you think is the best advice and use that to improve on the next outfit.

Also, I think the way you give constructive criticism is just as important as how you receive it, but that's another rant for another day.

2. Lace, oh lace.
I think I have a slight lace fetish so I could go on forever about this topic, but I will spare you the excruciating boredom. The main point is: cheap lace is not your friend. Come now, repeat after me, cheap lace is not my friend.

I understand how hard it can be to pull together a nice co-ordinate when you're on a budget. Lolita fashion is expensive but that doesn't mean there aren't ways to save money.

But wait, what is that you say? You've already bought a dress (spent a good RM200 on it too!), covered to the brim in cheap lace and you finally decided that you don't really like it. Fret not. Take a good, long hard look at the dress. Look at the design. Imagine it -gasp- without all that lace. There, doesn't that make it a lot better? That was the easy part.

The hard part is replacing all that lace. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, it takes a LOT of time and a LOT of effort, but it can be done. However, first decide whether you like the dress enough to put in all that time and effort. Also, if the problem with the dress is its shape, cut or length, then no amount of lace-replacing can save it.

Now take a trip to your local lace shop, take the time to look around and pick up some nice lace (it doesn't have to be very expensive). However, it is important to have a design plan in your mind before you go lace shopping or you might end up buying lace you won't use or need. And it's not just the type of lace you want to worry about, you should also think about the placement and the size of the lace. Lace that is too wide or too elaborate can be overwhelming. Also, this is a huge generalization but using lace the same colour as the material (e.g. blackXblack, whiteXwhite) allows you to get away with using less expensive lace.

3. What maketh a loli?
And no, the answer isn't lace. 0 points for you. I have said this again and again but I feel that it just isn't said enough. Putting lace on a skirt/blouse/dress doesn't make it loli. To be fair though, these past few years, I have noticed that the ko-Lolis nowadays are quite knowledgeable which I will assume is the result of the increasing exposure that lolita fashion is receiving in Malaysia.

Anyway, back to the point. There is no one simple answer to the question but there are certain guidelines (albeit debated guidelines) by which the fashion usually adheres to. Personally, I feel the best way is to get a feel of those guidelines is to just keep looking at tons and tons of pictures of lolita fashion. Grab a few GLBs and start flipping through them, browse brand websites, join online communities like egl and daily_lolita. Really form your own personal opinion about what makes something lolita or not.

Pay close attention to skirt length and shape, the shape of the collars and sleeves on the blouses, the colour schemes, the type of shoes. Ask yourself this question: "What is it that makes lolita clothes so different from other clothes?"

Just remember, at the end of the day, there are no set-in-stone rules and the fashion is still open to some interpretation. Originality (while still keeping with the style) is always important in a good co-ordinate.

4. The importance of hair and make-up
Okay, so you've got your co-ordinate all ready, from your headdress to your pannier to your rocking horses. The next thing to consider is your hair and make-up. One of the most annoying best things about lolita is the utmost care taken for every little detail and thus, a beautiful outfit can really be undermined by untidy hair whi
le a cute hairstyle can bring the whole outfit together in a nice little package. Of course, sometimes you just don't have the time to make sure every exquisite curl is in the right place but on those days, the least you can do is ensure that your hair looks neat. Unintentionally messy hair does not an elegant lolita make.

Wigs are also a good investment for bad hair days.

Now for make-up. The most important "don't" of all time:
Unless you're Mana, blue/black lipstick and white face powder IS NOT FOR YOU. You can thank me later. Not wearing make-up is fine too, if that's what you prefer.

Finally, never be afraid to have fun and be creative with your co-ordinate. No matter what you're wearing, just hold your head high and walk like you're the most beautiful lolita there ever was.
With these tips in mind young ko-Loli, go forth and be frilly.